Saturday, October 25, 2008

EL SID

Sorry I haven't posted as of late...life keeps getting in the way (no excuse). To break back into the blog routine, I'm indulging myself by posting something I wrote a few days ago for the extraordinary website, The Judy Garland Experience. And I must thank OBF, Daniel, for his encouragement to post my musings on Sid Luft, Judy Garland's third husband, after he privately read an initial draft. The link to the site is below, but if you want to join, it's by invitation only. This is the link to the blog version of the group: http://thejudygarlandexperience.blogspot.com/

What follows is a slightly modified version of what I posted:

I've been reluctant, until now, to chime in on the subject of Sid Luft, largely because my "take" on him is influenced by a close friendship with him that began in 1979 and then continued unabated when I moved to Los Angeles from Chicago upon graduation from college the following year.

Without reservation, I can say that I loved Sid and I know he felt the same about me. I was with him the morning he died and gave Joe a much-needed respite for an hour or so by watching over Sid, who was gravely ill and barely able to get into a wheelchair. I spent virtually the week after he passed at Sid's home, as the family had asked me to be media spokesperson as calls came infrom all over the world.

While it was an extremely difficult time for all of us close to Sid, I attempted as best I could to help the family and Sid's business associate, John Kimble. I assisted in planning Sid's memorial service at his beloved Rivera Country Club (with hundreds of mourners present), along with helping John assemble video montages celebrating his life.

Because I was friends with Sid – and for a very long time -- I feel compelled to express a somewhat different portrait of Sid than whatis often presented. This isn't being written wearing my usual "hat"of reporter and researcher, but on an admittedly much more personal basis.

When it comes to Sid Luft, I can separate the man from his misdeeds because, for one, he always treated me fairly and honorably, and, most of all, because of his abiding, ever-present love for JudyGarland.

He was a flawed man, to be sure, and made many, many mistakes for which she often the victim; that said, to my mind, Sid Luft lasted the longest than any other heterosexual man in her life and provided her with at least a semblance of constancy, a home life and "family"more than she found in any other such relationship.

Sid proclaimed not long before he died, "Whatever bad things happened, you don't fall out of love with somebody like her. All I know is that if anyone tried to save a woman who was breaking apart, I did. I know that I did the best I could do, and it still wasn't enough."

I know most concede that Sid loved Judy; it was, and is, his sometimes highly questionable (or simply, lousy) business practices (during her life and after) which, rightfully, often came under fire. I am clear-eyed about Sid's failings, bad decisions, lack of financial planning, shoddy products he created or authorized, and his embracing myths he created which became his truth. Yet, for me, his fierce devotion, his passionate love of her, which never wavered, filter the weight of his misdeeds.

In the nearly thirty years I knew him, I never heard him say a harsh or demeaning word about her; instead, he would invariably blame himself, not her, or pinpoint others in her life (which he would derisively call "pop-ups," the ones who would appear and disappear after they extracted what they wanted from her) or, inevitably, her subsequent managers, Freddie Fields and David Begelman.

I don't excuse Sid Luft for his failings, particularly those for which Judy was victim. But rightfully so or not, I filter them witht he belief (biased or not) that he felt himself to be her protector and champion. Did he sometimes -- or often -- fail at the task? Of course.

One of Sid's great failings, I suppose, is that he simply was unable or unwilling, to move on after Judy died, or even, when she was alive and he was out of the picture – both professionally and personally.

Sid briefly acted as manager for his daughter, Lorna Luft, in the early 1970's until she thought better of it, quipping, "You won't be satisfied until you put me in a brunette wing and have me sit on the edge of the stage and sing, `Over the Rainbow'!"

As a result, Sid was dependent upon Judy's earnings; and when he no longer acted as her producer-manager, he took short cuts, sued with abandon (and, in turn, was often sued himself), made bad deals, rushed inferior merchandise to the marketplace and developed the kind of reputation which repelled many top-drawer investors and thus greatly curtained the production and release of legitimate, prestigious ventures. Yet, he loved her, deeply, passionately, his emotion when speaking of her (and their life together) was always real, immediate and powerful.

He was a terrific raconteur, had a great sense of humor and couldrival the political experts on CNBC and CNN with his knowledge on national and global issues, it's equally true that one could not havea conversation with him where the topic didn't come back to Judy Garland, his love for her, his sadness at not being able to do more for her. He could not let go. It was something that helped to undermine his professional standing and also interfered with his personal life; his last wife, Camille, often said (bemusedly), "I know Sid loves me but Judy always comes first and she always will. He is still in love with her…in a way he will never be with me."

From one perspective, that's echoed in a statement I gave to the press when he died: "Judy and Sid had a great love affair. She was the love of his life. He never got over her and he was still in love with her until the day she died."

As someone here recently noted,"Like many women of her generation, Judy expected her partners to handle her business affairs." To that end, Sid did not spare himself on that subject. As he stated a few years before his death:"I didn't want to be her pimp. I got a call from the head of theMorris office, who said, "Sid, what are you doing, interfering with Judy's career? You may be the boyfriend, but don't try to interfere with our management." But she wanted to announce I was her personal manager. And I was not ready for that, because I didn't want to be criticized for invading that portion of her life as a manager. That's a hell of a lot of responsibility. A) We are not married, B) I am traveling with this big star and C) I look like maybe I'm a hanger-on. It sure was a big decision to make. I remember we had an emotional misunderstanding and she was crying. She says, "I know you can do it." It was late in the afternoon, the sun was practically down, and I was looking at the big black cast on the top of the hill, and she was sobbing. She almost wanted to buy me in some form. I said, "I am not a manager. I have been an agent; I'm trying to produce a picture, Judy." She said, "You've got to stay with me, Sid. I cannot do this without you. I want you to be my manager. I want to put you on salary. I want to pay you for being known as my mentor." It was kind of overwhelming. Judy was, what the word, possessive, and she wanted to indulge me. I knew what I was going to run into for myself – a nobody who had produced two crappy pictures and a woman who had a reputation for suicides. Christ, who was going to take a chance with these two?"

Yes, Sid gambled and frittered away lots of (her) money, as well as his salary as her producer-manager. His fondness for the track is legendary. Investments were not made. Taxes were not paid. On the other side of the coin, their expenses were formidable: "We had a cook and a butler, a secretary, two nurses for the children, a secretary, a cook, and a houseman, as well. I rememberone time counting up the people who were on the staff. There were twelve. "

His devotion and protectiveness for her raged on until the end. I was touched at his remark he made not long before his passing: "When she was at Doctor's Hospital [with hepatitis], I was living there, too, because a relativecan rent a room to live in the hospital, and I had a small room that was just like a cell. There was nothing in there. Just a bed and dresser, a mirror and a bathroom. I lived in that small room the endof December '59, January, February of '60, ten or eleven weeks, as long as Judy was in the hospital."

Judy was certainly victim to Sid's excess and sometimes poor business decisions. Yet one might ask how long she would have lived if he hadn't been around -- or had the endurance or personal strength --to "stitch her up," as he would refer to her life-threatening medication-induced incidents.

As [Hollywood historian and friend of Garland] Robert Osborne observed in my book, "Desilu" re Lucille Ball andher marriage to Gary Morton: "It's very hard for a woman in that star category – like it was for Judy Garland and Bette Davis – to find acceptable men to be with, because they need someone around them all the time. If it's somebody equal in stature in business or career, those men don't have the time to be with them all the time. They need keepers, in a certain sense."

I shall never forget one of my last memories of Sid. Although his health had severely declined and he was restricted to a wheelchair, he was determined (and delighted) to attend a special screening of "A Star Is Born" [which he produced] at The Egyptian Theatre in Hollywood. With Joe at his side (providing exemplary 24 hour care without complaint), Sid invited me and a few other close friends to be with him. It was clear that he was in enormous pain, but he refused to acknowledge, or give in, to it.

Joe sat next to Sid, and I was a few seats down the aisle. The audience gave him a standing ovation when it was announced that he was the special guest of the event.

The image of Sid and Joe taking in the film remains vivid. I remember looking over at Joe and seeing his obvious delight. He shared his father's pride in the film, reveled in seeing his mother's performance and was as captivated as the rest of us. I still can see him beaming, the joy in seeing his mother in full bloom.

Most of all, the memory of Sid is indelible. I couldn't help myself but look over at him throughout the screening. The light of the projection lit up his face. He held a Kleenex throughout the picture. For those minutes, it seemed the ravages of old age and frail health disappeared. Perhaps he was aware he would not see the film again. There were moments where his beaming face, his unabashed joy, his great bursts of laughter, belied the reality of the present.

Mostly, what will stay with me always is the image of seeing Sid, atcertain moments of the film, openly sobbing, tears streaming down his face, shaking his head back and forth, putting his face in his hands when the emotion was too much for him. He was so overcome that he remained positioned in his wheelchair next to the aisle for quite some time after the movie ended to regain his composure.

The evening ended on a high note, as dozens of people in the audience came over to Sid in homage, asking him questions about the picture, about Judy, and asking for autographs. The evening was all the more special because it was Sid's last public appearance. I was honored to be part of it and, above all, I am honored to have been his friend and comrade.

1 comment:

martha said...

what a combination of memories here.

your experience with this man is your experience with this man is your experience with this man. no one can deny that, no one should try.

i ask you to reflect (and we'll talk about this later and often!) on the numbers of times when listing out the story of sid vis a vis miss garland ... that you conclude for yourself that the fact that sid loved judy mitigates, ameliorates, and just "filters" those other facts. [and images of older gentlemen getting all teary kinda grab ya, right? just a word .. it happens to everyone. you should have seen my dad toward the end of his life .. what an emotional sap .. in a great way .. wells of emotion are unleashed i tell ya]

for some of us ... o.k. for me alone perhaps ... the love sid had for garland didn't mitigate or filter those other actions he did in her name, with her legacy. but that's your balance of all those facts .. and that's to be valued.

its not yet a story of sid (and what makes him tick, and what his story was before garland and after garland) ... its a story of a young man (you) who came to hollywood and met an older man who was very kind to him and welcomed him in .. and then the story begins.

or one version of the story.

let's talk ..